Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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