I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
