she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm too high and old for this...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
