The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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