Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I want a musical about memes.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
