wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
