...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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