he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
