dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
