need another drink. this is the easiest way
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
