I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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