i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
