it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
