I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My life is pants optional.
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