I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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