Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
