I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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