Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
