bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
