I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm both gender and math confused
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