reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
whose parrot is this?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
