Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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