so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
