im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
