I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
