im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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