Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
honey bunches of taint.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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