Screwed.edu
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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