Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
