I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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