Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
