She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
