that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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