It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
