Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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