honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
