No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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