I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
