ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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