I love black thongs
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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