I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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