He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
