Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
