Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
