I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
