Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Randomize
