mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
