one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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