Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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