I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
