i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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