i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
