just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
